Loneliness on the Road – Ben Around the World Diary – Day 130 – 16 June 2019

Loneliness on the Road – Ben Around the World Diary – Day 130 – 16 June 2019

– ODO- 16336 – 16456km
– Location- Forest between Atak and Sukhothai, Thailand
– Weather- 24-29 Overcast with Showers

This morning I woke with a crushing loneliness. Staying in a hotel with a king size bed just feels wrong when your on your own. I sat on the edge of the covers remembering weekends with my girlfriend over a year ago. Time spent with friends and housemates as I lived and moved around London over the years. There’s no substitute for being surrounded by people who love you. My head in my hands. I couldn’t even bring myself to cry.

I packed the bags slowly, collecting everything I’d hung up out on the balcony to dry. My tent and sleeping bag had been soaked camping last night in Myanmar. The striking first impression of Thailand is the wealth. The border town of Mae Sot has three shopping malls and the streets are smooth clean concrete. I’m passed by a steady stream of pickup trucks and chunky motorbikes as I wind up the mountains. The road is steep in places but so smooth the morning passes in a blaze. I put on some of my most emo music and sit deep in my emotions.

Changing my life to travels ongoing has brought so many sacrifices. I fear part of me that needs to be loved, to have contact and closeness with another will wither. Though when I think back on the times I was most loved, I felt then an overwhelming desire for freedom and adventure. One thing I’m terrible at is finding balance. Is it possible to balance love and adventure?


Hi, my name is Ben and I’m a startup founder and adventurer. Highlights of my career include building three startups from zero to exit (Chew.tv, StreamOn and working on Aux) and cycling – halfway – around the world in 2018. Subscribe for updates, blog posts and videos on my startup life and adventure travels.
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